I'm Sorry.

For spoiling the ending.
For not thinking about how I shouldn't have told the whole story; it wasn't their business and I'm sure you were sorry.
For the time I yelled at you in front of all your friends.
For the time I made fun of you for your weight.
For fighting you for no reason.  We were young and you didn't hit a girl but I still kicked you on the ground.
For the times I don't yell at you and instead give you really bad guilt trips.
For saying hurtful things about you.

A Day of Ups and Downs

There's no other way to let the day out then starting from the beginning. Today was my day off. I had planned to sleep in, but fell asleep reading early last night and instead woke up at 6 am feeling refreshed and eager for the day. I made coffee and went outside to read. (Chris and I decided that the pack purchased on Sunday would be our final pack and we were gonna quit smoking together). Today would be out first official day of not smoking, and my first challenge( the hardest was my morning coffee). So I read outside instead. I felt great about it. I came in and did just a spot of yoga, then took a walk around the apartment complex. After sweating and feeling rejuvenated, I showered. All this by 8am. Isaac woke up shortly after and I fed him. It was about to get better... I had attempted to take in the crotch of some oversized pants and failed on Sunday. I had been mentally preparing the revision in my head ever since. So I pulled out my sewing mechine and worked through it. And what do you know?! It was coming out great, they were skinnier and my crotch was in order. I had decided the check on Chris at about 9:35 am. I walk into the room and start asking him and I look out the window and there is his car, being hitched by the tow truck. We run downstairs as the guy rushes to get try and get it hitched up. There is my office manager watching it. We had paid the registration but because it was in my mother-in-law's name, had been unable to get the tags. We had received warning that it needed to be fixed. We had already paid it! My father-in-law was going to get the tags Monday, but it was a holiday. I pleaded and begged to let it go. He gave me the whole he'll lose his job bit. I was desperate. He offered that if I pay 160 he would let it go. I just kept arguing the fact and he pulled away. I ran upstairs to call him back and transfer the money to my account. I could only reach the tow office and they said because he left the complex, it was going to be 260 bucks instead. A whole nother 100. The lady seems to feel for me and says she'll see if she can help me out, but I had to go to the office and get it out of the lot. Meanwhile, my husband is talking to his dad who says he got the tags earlier that morning. We rush down to another city to get them (but missed the exit and delayed like 20 minutes). We head back home, I have no money so I have to advance it from my paycheck with a 30 dollar fee and rush to the tow yard. I take the longer route unknowingly, drop off Chris to take care of it and head to pick up my daughter from school. Chris tells me they could give no break and waive nothing like planned. Aside from the money and time and stress, we bought a pack of cigarettes and today I smoked the most I have since the New Year. Now we have our car, a negative technical amount in our account, and a pack of cigarettes. Things were OK after Bella's eye exam and some lunch. I decide to call my mom and vent about the misfortunes of my day. She shares her own burdens. Mine seem so petty compared to hers. And my heart broke for her and her financial problems. 300 although is a big amount, seemed so manageable. I pray for her. I do. For many reasons. I continue on the call to my mom's house and as I'm finishing up the call I see Junnette. And instantly my day is put into perspective. My problems are easier than my mom's. But ours combined do not compare to Junnette's. Junnette lost her son after he as attacked by someone with a shovel at a party. He was 22. She is at my mom's for comfort in her time of mourning. It seemed so selfish to worry about money when I look at the next person and they have it worse. And sometimes the person next to them is worse still. Yes, our problems are real and the stress and misfortune are warranted. But, I have my children, husband, family. And I have this day, each day of life is a blessing. And no amount of money problems can compensate for the loss of a child. Each day is a new chance to pray, hope, believe and live. Of the good and bad that this day gave me, I want to take from it the lesson learned. Sometimes life can be hard, but life in itself is a blessing.

Sew Failures

I love sewing. I love it, love it. But too often I fail at projects. Wearing a large size and being short makes wearing pants that fit and flatter quite difficult. Today I tried altering then, to no avail. This will be my new project, learning to alter.

Resolution

I'm currently uploading pictures. I'm trying to take advantage of the great deals going on at Snapfish. One New Years resolution: print pictures. Good night.

What I'm Wearing

Lately I've been wearing my summer dresses with a shirt over it. Sometimes the drape of the skirt conflicts with my rolls (for lack of a better word). And then again sometimes the lack of definition in dresses makes me look pregnant. Oh and I like covering my arms. It seems to be a good fit for me.

Me

This will be like the 4th blog I've had. Nobody reads them, and that's OK. What I really want though is a space for memories, a place for myself. I've been dealing with design issues, uploading pictures, and all other kinds of indecision. But I hope to make this my permanent residence. I am Janelle, Janelle Ann, or Jae. I am currently 25 years old. I am married to my wonderful husband, friend for 12 years. We have 2 smart, funny, and adorable children. I reside in Riverside, CA. I work full time at a job that I am thankful for but sometimes hate. I have little money but I feel enriched with the life I have. I intend to blog about my daily life including worries and values. I intend to blog about crafting. I love to crochet and knit, although I'm a novice at the second. I love sewing, though I'm kind of amateur at that as well. I scrapbook as well. I'm hoping that I can work some type of schedule around the posts. Welcome to my world. P.S. I love thrifting.

Technically Speaking

OK, gadgets. That's how we get by nowadays. So, I currently use my HTC Inspire (Android) as my main source of photos and blogging. Sometimes I'll use the RetroCamera, LittlePhoto, and Pixlr-o-matic apparently from the market. I am trying this thing out where I upload them to pgotobucket then use the HTML code (we'll see how that works for me). I carry my thumbdrive around (it used to have a Lego Hagrid keychain on it) which has a lot of pics on it. I normally manage my photos on it, then edit with GIMP. I do a lot of "on the go". I carry a SanDisk mp3 that with my memory card included is about 8gb. I only listen to the same like 5 songs a week. At home I use a Gateway, yes Gateway computer running windows 7 and use Photoshop CS3. I know most people have fancy, fancier gadgets. This is what I have with in my means and I make do.

Gotye- Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra)- official film clip (HD)

I cannot stop listening to this song.